Why are Some Lesbians so Butch?

Question:

Why do some lesbian's become so butch?  I'm talking about the ones with the boy haircuts, loaded key rings, man clothes and boots, manly swagger etc.  Do they want to be men?  Are they transgender?  If it's female attracted to female why is one so mannish and the other not?  Of course I realize this isn't always the case.   Is there usually a butch and a .......hmmmm, just realized I don't know what the more feminine partner would be called.  A bitch?  Ha!

Answer:

Ah! A very interesting question that probably has as many answers as there are lesbians! Entire books have been written on this subject.

To skip to the last part, bitch is a term that can be used for both straight or lesbian women, (and even some men we know!), but feminine lesbians are commonly referred to as femmes. Some of us don't mind the term, some us don't like it so much. So, if you use it with a lesbian friend, you should check in with her first if you want to avoid any tension.

As for the first part of your question, the attributes you listed are not restricted to lesbian women. There are plenty of straight women who have short hair, wear key rings, and stomp around in big boots (Doc Martins are the favored brand). None of that means that a woman is gay. If you were to walk into most lesbian bars, you would actually find a huge diversity of styles ranging from Diesel Dyke to Lipstick Lesbian. The reason you probably have the impression that so many lesbians dress so butch is that women dressed in that manner don't blend in so easily in open society. You'd be surprised at the number of lesbians who do blend in!

For some women the style is a matter of comfort, for others it is a sort of uniform that declares who they are to those around them.

Butch women do not want to be men, nor are they transgender, they just feel more comfortable wearing more masculine clothing. As for the swagger...well, people walk and gesture differently depending on the clothing they wear and we imagine that some of that comes from the style of clothing and for others it is a matter of completing the tough aspect of their uniform. 

Butches don't always date femmes just like cheerleaders don't always date the quarterback- but opposites do often attract, and so there are many butch-femme couples. Word to the wise- don't try to correlate the male-female roles to a butch-femme relationship. Neither woman in a butch-femme relationship is a man- though some women we know have very impressive tools (take that any way you want to- <snicker!>). Which brings us to the unasked question- if a femme woman dates a butch woman, why doesn't she want to date a man? Because a butch woman isn't a man and a lesbian is a woman who loves other women.

It's important to realize that clothing is only part of what a person is as a whole. Gender and gender roles are just part of a complex mix of who a person really is. 

Here are some things to read if you want to know more: 

About.com has excellent information about gay life. This link will take you to Butch 101- a very informative rundown on what it is to be butch:

http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbiandating/a/Butches.htm

Here a couple of the books that have been written about lesbian fashion (and, no, that is not an oxymoron, moron!):

The History of Lesbian Hair by Mary Dugger

Looking Like What You Are: Sexual Style, Race, and Lesbian Identity by Lisa Walker