Question:
So, the post about lesbians being butch led me to wonder about something else. It's a term I have thrown around loosely, and would like to know if it is inappropriate or offensive, because I won't use it if it is. Is the term "Lipstick Lesbian" okay to use?
Answer:
It's so cool that you ask!
Lipstick Lesbian is a term used to describe a lesbian who is on the femme side of the spectrum on the butch-femme scale. For the most part, it is not considered derogatory, though there are some people who hate to be labeled at all, and might not like the term. You should be comfortable using it in most settings, but you might want to check in with someone if you want to refer to them by that term. They might think they are a sporty dyke! The term dyke, by the way, is usually considered offensive unless it is used by a lesbian who is more on the butch side of the scale. This is because of all of the negative stereotyping of lesbians and we can't always tell if the person using it is using it in a loving manner or in a spiteful manner.
Doesn't it seem that in these days of political correctness that people are either scared about every word they use, or pissed that they can't say everything they want to say? We had a huge debate on the use of the word Oriental at a family brunch recently. We always think it's better to err on the side of caution- unless you want to stir people up.
We'd love to hear from anyone out there on this topic. We aren't easily offended, but try to avoid hurting anyone's feelers when we can. Obviously, any word can be used as a slur in the context it is delivered,but some are foul even when used with the most loving intentions. What do you think about the term Lipstick Lesbian or any of other terms that are used to describe the gay community?
Ooooh, really good question! I'm glad someone forwarded it. Funnily enough, I was thinking about this subject earlier. I was perusing a beauty mag and thought the short hairstyles would look too "dykey" on me, which got me wondering whether the word would have offended if I'd said it aloud. So thanks for answering my question! Had this been an open discussion with my mates, is it safe to assume the word "butch" would have been more appropriate? After all, "butch" is used to describe men and women...
ReplyDeleteI guess it depends on what you mean. If you think it will make you look ugly and you use either term, it would be derogatory, yes? If you just mean too masculine for your taste, butch is okay, unless you mean that butches are unsavory...does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd interpret both "butch" and "dykey" as meaning "ultra-masculine" as opposed to "unsavory" or "ugly". Ooooh, this is a minefield. I'll just say "too masculine" since that's what I'm driving at anyway. That shouldn't create any problems... I hope! Thanks for your clarification hun x
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure :-)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say I'm loving the blog. While it's informative, it's also done in a way not unlike friends just sitting around and talking. I grew up in SF but seemed to have only learned about gay men, so this is all new stuff to learn about. Education is a good thing. Keep up the great work you two!
ReplyDeleteThanks Shu-Jen! That makes us feel good, and it's nice to hear that we are reaching people who have some knowledge, but could use more : -) The friends sitting around talking part is especially awesome to hear because we want it to feel organic and comfortable. We hope it just gets better as we find our legs - we're learning, too. : -)
ReplyDelete